my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
