Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
