he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
