i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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