we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
