Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
