my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is it penis luge time yet?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
