we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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