it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
