Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
