HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
