Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i dont even know how to be here
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
