Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you told grandpa to call you daddy
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
