hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
