You're completely useless in the revolution.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
