Fine. I'll sleep in my office
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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