btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
