If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
