yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
