I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
