umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
