I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
