he thought i was a dude.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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