things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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