they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
