Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
