I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Dicks are not precious.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
