I got chris browned last night
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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