You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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