I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
