Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
