I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
