haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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