Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
