hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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