Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
