i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
