i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
