everyone is single if you try hard enough
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There r osticjed everywhere
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
