THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
