i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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