it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so let's talk penis.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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