dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
