went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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