the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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