saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
