I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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