Plan B is the new Plan A
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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