I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
