I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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