all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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