i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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