My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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