OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
