so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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