vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
